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** This report is strictly a thought-experiment.
Any similarity to what i did this morning is purely coincidental.


Mid-May 2007
FIRST N-N-DMT 'Breakthrough' EXPERIENC
E
Ok, wow! Got a good, solid smoked hit of DMT down my windpipes this morning !!!
I've been waiting almost 9 years to have this experience .. and wow!
Here's what happened.

After a couple of recent tries in which i only experienced 'borderline effects',
this morning only about 30 minutes after waking up, I loaded all that remained of the sample of N-N-DMT in the pipe, atop a bed of neutral ash. (an unknown amount in terms of milligrams, but a speck of amber material about 1/3 the size of a grain of white rice.)
I put some non-sectarian, neutral meditational music on the stereo, turned off all the lights and sat on the floor doing some deep breathing beforehand. I wanted to make sure i was well-oxygenated for the journey!

When time slows WAY down it is very common to have concerns regarding breathing, or if you are possibly 'dead'. This is because time slows down so dramatically that it may seem to be 'hours' in-between each individual breath or heartbeat. however, DMT is medically regarded as an extraordinarily safe substance, and even though it can be a scary ride mentally ... it's physically safe.

DMT is related to the near-death experience and also to dreams.
Your brain's pineal gland produces N-N-DMT, melatonin and 5_MEO-DMT while you sleep each night. it is present in small amounts in the bloodstream of all human beings. Medical research indicates that at the moment of death, the melatonin and serotonin in the brain will break-down into DMT after oxygen stops circulating, so each of us may enter the ultimate natural DMT trip at the moment of death.

It's one heck of a trip, one might have some fears and experience some shock at the intensity of the effects, but nobody has yet died of amazement & you always come back to planet Earth in about 12 to 30 minutes.

NOTE TO READER: This was not a "fun" psychedelic experience - not a dreamy trip to heaven, lol.
yet it was definitely medicinal & instructional in many ways. I learned quite a few things about myself in the space of just a few moments or even seconds.


There is no way to represent what one sees, but the images on this post are trip-art that i had previously saved, & I carefully chose the ones which most closely resemble a faint suggestion of what i 'saw' in the lux of the mind's eye.

0.0 Seconds
I raised the pipe to my lips and inhaled, holding the flame a bit away from the bowl,
being careful to let it sizzle and evaporate rather than waste it by burning too rapidly.


0 Minutes, 3 seconds
I held in the smoke until it was all absorbed into my body, when i exhaled no smoke came out but i caught a glance of my cat, 2 seconds into the trip she was already fractalizing into a Louis Wain artwork. Jeweled & neon snake-like patterns began to slither and slide above and under her fur.
She looked SOOO weird on the way into the trip ...
like ribbons of light twisting along her fur & following every curve. A graceful neon bio-robot made of alien snake-flowers!
Then i closed my eyes. inner thought at the time "Ok, I definitely got a good hit that time!"

just about how my cat looked 3 sec. into the DMT trip, but the vision was 100x more detailed


0 Minutes 5 seconds
I closed my eyes and took a deep breath. The Music began to swell in both volume and detail
... then it began to stretch out like silly-putty while seeming to "fold out of itself" in sound and in 'time'.
There were dozens of violins playing fast scales on the song and i could hear & track the most miniature details of each one of them, all at the same time.
I could even tell which ones were played by the same violinist in different takes & which were ensemble, & noticed duplicate tracks that were layered in to give the mix a deeper sound, and how much these tracks were offset from their counterparts higher in the mix, etc, etc. Normally this music just sounds like a huge swell of violins playing really fast scales, but I could hear and follow literally 600 or more "real"(not just hallucinated) details simultaneously & this was before the visuals really got started.
The sound then became like a swelling, storming sea which poured over into my visual field ... I lost track of awareness of the music at this point.
inner thought "This is really different ... whoa, uh ...OM!"



Time sank into a hole in space / space sank into a hole in time

0 Minutes 8 seconds
I had the sensation of dissolving of merging into another "space" - not sinking down, or sideways, but a shift of some kind.
Like the space around my body was melting into a 'dimensional' hole or indentation in the fabric of 'reality',
and sorta dislocated me from the ordinary flow of time & space.
The music and all time virtually stopped - i was in a pocket of infinity between moments
- Patterns began to swim and swirl - rapidly coming into clear focus.
inner thought "Okl, you've read about this part, everything's OK, keep breathing, try to relax!"


first waves of visuals seemed to rush in from a distant perspective point

0 minutes 12 seconds
The difference between sound, thought and visuals was now almost totally obliterated.
But there was still the regular ego along for the ride, the sense of 'self' and the part of your mind that speaks to itself about your experience.
But yeah ... this is truly The Unspeakable, so that part of the mind gets a heavy dose of humble pie
& eventually shuts up if you're experienced or lucky. I was neither experienced or lucky.

After sinking into the space/time fold, my entire visual field (with eyes closed) was literally buzzing & gyrating at incredible dizzying speeds with endlessly complex vaulted hemispherical concave surfaces that were composed of thousands of discrete elements. These elements were like curved, flat laser beams of liquid-light with impossible geometric objects floating in them. There were thousands within view ... each one was a bit unique in each of it's ten-thousand aspects.
Good representation of the peak visuals, except the real thing is 10000x more intense
and moving at ultra-speed all around you & there is no 'up or down' or traditional directions anymore
& everything is constantly inter-morphing through you and itself in brilliant colors & ever-newer formations.
The surfaces were moving at an extraordinary speed, faster than any type of vision i've ever seen,
frighteningly fast like neon christmas octopus palm-trees in a disco hurricane whiplashing about at lightning speed
all around you, relentlessly - not like any other trip visuals.

The matrix was performing every type of topological acrobatic stunt possible,

such as turning inside out, breaking into thousands of sub-parts and reforming as something new, hugely synchronized cascades of knotted ropes swinging into & thru each other and forming an new & ever-more exquisite jeweled-webbed pattern at every intersection ... basically complete geometrical mayhem, but all without any chaotic feel. Every movement was hyper-orchestrated and i realized quickly that it was gracefully, painfully, methodically, unbearably breaking every logical and conceptual taboo in the universe.
EVERYTHING i thought was impossible was right in front of me (& i believed that i already thought 'nothing is impossible')
So much that I became shocked that anything could be so shocking!
I wished for a moment i could abort the trip and go back to something recognizable - too much too quick!

inner thought "OK OK, that's enough ... i'd like to stop now, can we take this in smaller steps?
hey wait, did i really want to do this? Oh Shit! Everything's ok, take a deep Breath"

the most impossible configurations of meaning unfolded and morphed like a tornado of converged realities


0 Minutes 20 seconds
Now it was clear to me; Within seconds,
just the vision of the "waiting room" of the DMT universe
had shattered all of my preconceptions about ANYTHING. Ka-Boom ...
Rolled-over by a freight-train & squashed flat ... so flat they were one dimensional.
Ontological dynamite had gone off in my brain. The only way to describe any of this is by metaphor and analogy.

I turned my attention from the visions back to the self and what i saw was total carnage. All around me were the casualties strewn about from the implosion into DMT hyperspace. The wounded preconceptions and decapitated belief systems were in a makeshift emergency medical triage unit inside my mind. there were parts of my subconscious desperately scurrying around to try and patch the holes & sew the appendages back onto my normal reality-construct. These self-repair fragments were busy saying "oh, don't look over here" as some of the worst victims were being covered by sheets to shield me from even more shock at seeing them in a destroyed, useless state.
I tried to forget about it and turned my attention back to the outpourings from the light-speed alien novelty-circus.
Once again "I" could only interact with that which seemed distinctly "IT" for a few seconds before succumbing to numb-astonishment again.
inner thought "Oh shit ... that blew it all away, what should i do now? What is now? What is 'is'? What 'is' IS! ok .. try to not think

'

Coils of energy, DNA and unexplainable energy-template things swirled around me.
This part was so hyper-detailed & realistic & distinct & fast-paced & in-focus & unpredictably unfathomably unexplainable ...
it's just impossible to convey in words or even images. The behavior and motions observed in this space are different beyond different.
Like living volcano's of information from another universe that are spewing the raw-magma code to 'the matrix' RIGHT IN YOUR FACE! Help!

0 Minutes 30 seconds
The story of "humpty-dumpty" became a theme -
"All the kings horses and all the kings men couldn't put humpty-dumpty back together again"

In this case the KING being the Ego-self construct which feels it can interpret reality into a safe & sensical worldview. The kings men were the parts of my subconscious that were sent into attempted-repair mode from the shock of seeing and interacting with 'The Impossible; and of course, the shattered egg was my primitive 3D worldview and all of my attachments to anything related to ordinary mundane 3D 'Earthly' experience.
All of that goes out the door in DMT space, nothing you have ever learned is of ANY USE Whatsoever.
You are like a totally helpless newborn baby opening it's eyes for the first time in a mix of awe, shock, joy, fear and disorientation.
inner thought "I've been knocked back into my subconscious... damn, what just happened? ok .. keep breathing, try to let go'


? minute ? seconds

No sense of objective time whatsoever .. just being now
I take a deep breath and i can totally feel that my body is mostly made of liquid, and that liquid is mostly made of atoms swirling around in empty space. My lungs and skin feel like softly textured sponges, exchanging liquid & gasses as part of the system of the environment. I notice the colors react to the fresh oxygen entering my brain. I become temporarily absorbed in noticing the transparent sensation of my body, i'd swear i can feel light passing thru it.

Suddenly i realize the rising peak has hit a plateau and that the vision of hyperspace is not as intense. A series of images flash thru my mind to anchor some of the more outlandish visions into short-term memory. Noticed a bit of nausea and made note of where the trash can was. Then I sort of went thru the whole thing again but with less intensity, remembering the encounter with the 'impossible unknowable' & getting shattered to bits and watching the mind try to make sense of things. This time around it was more clear that the only destruction was self-caused, by trying to squeeze 3D constructs & beliefs into hyperspace.
inner thought: "The key is to not try to describe anything to yourself or make any attempts
at reconciling the experience with what you think it 'might' be or 'should' be."


5 minutes 0 seconds
Now i'm starting to feel like the mind-shattering experience and the fold in space/time are more remote and dream-like.


Visions become less sharp and more cartoon like

The view behind my closed eyes still sparkles with energy and overlapping wave-like patters of color.
When i open them and look at the cat, she and the whole scene looks like a fractal mosaic quilt made with thousands of shades of brown, gray, blue and black. I notice the music again and it's still much more detailed & rich than usual but i can tell from hearing it's flow that 'time' has gone back to almost normal.

Cat in the darkness

inner thought "Whoa ... dude, they say it's impossible to be prepared and i guess that's correct. that knocked me off balance ... gotta find a new level of zen to deal with such a transition. Gotta lighten the load & not bring as much 'self' along because it inevitably has to be discarded. Anything with gravity or attachment will be stripped away ... remember, it's ok.'


10 minutes 0 seconds

100% back in my body, mind functioning normally, nausea gone, ego reconfigured & feeling A-ok.
Energized, happy and HUMBLED by the experience!

30 minutes
Back to Earth! Still have a positive afterglow feeling.

Analysis:
That was a good intro to the DMT space.
I learned that i have a LOT to learn, which in this context means a lot to Un-learn.
I thought nothing could shock me ... but that was a shocking experience.


WAY WAY WAY beyond what i've ever been thru on large amounts of LSD or mushrooms.
It happens so quickly that you have very little time to adjust, and once you approach hyperspace, things are happening so fast that it's very difficult to resist 'giving in' to your own amazement. A-maze-ment puts you back into a maze of intellectual & logical comparisons. Once you try this game you instantly loose, because there are NO logical comparisons, no references to this weirdness and no impossibilities.
To categorize anything in DMT space is to limit your perception of it, which
pulls you 'away' from hyperspace back into attempts to rationalize & interpret.
The only interpretation of hyperspace is the direct wordless experience of it.
Words are only now in progress of development to describe shit that's that alien, novel, beautiful and core-shattering.

it seems like dmt is more of a direct-access tool, and less of a spiritual trip than other psychedelics.
More like being launched objectively 'there' in a cannon and having to hit the ground running.

I'm absolutely not here to advise that anyone attempt this, but i was and still am curious about the reported DMT influenced hyperspatial and entity experiences. I didn't see any entities, but i definitely saw the 'front door' of DMT hyperspace, and even with plenty of previous meditation, psychedelic and other experiences i was still AWED and FLOORED by what it's really like. I can't say it in words ...

I knocked on the door of hyperspace and whatever answered the door
was so fantastically astounding that I tucked tail and ran home to mommy!

It was not threatening .... but simply so profoundly REAL and BEYOND ANYTHING EVER IMAGINED that it freaked me out!
I like that .. it takes a lot to freak me out.

If there is a next time i will submit to infinity and not Look Back!
Thanks, peace & Love Always,
~miqel

 

 
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